My own journey towards my authentic self has been filled with uncertainty, insecurity, fear, and doubt. Like so many, I have often felt ill at ease within my body, and have many intersectional experiences of trauma. As a young soldier I developed disordered eating behaviors as a means of coping with isolation, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. I decided to become a therapist and a professor in order to both better understand the etiological basis for disordered eating and identify targeted approaches to successful treatment.

While I was a doctoral student at the University of Utah I met my wife. At the time, I was an active member of a non-affirming faith, and had never before considered the possibility that I might be gay. I’d also never been in love. I had dated many men that I enjoyed spending time with, but physical intimacy felt obligatory, and I was baffled by how people somehow knew they were in love and could commit to spending their life with one another. Almost from the first moment that I met my wife, however, I felt drawn to her. She felt familiar. I felt inspired by her. I wanted to be a better person because of her. I started to ask a lot of questions, both about myself and about what I believed to be true. This triggered both an identity and faith crisis, as well as significant family turmoil. My soul-searching continued for years, and it often seemed that my conflicting thoughts and feelings could not, and would never be, resolved. Fortunately, powerful medicine of various types began flowing into my life, in beautiful and synchronistic ways, and I followed the internal pings and learned practices that led to what I feel was a spiritual awakening. It’s not that I was asleep before. But I experienced this profound shift that seemed to happen all in a moment. That shift was accompanied by an incredible sense of peace, joy, clarity, alignment, freedom, and love, more powerful than I had ever experienced before. I was finally able to deconflict what I’d been taught and what I was experiencing, and move forward in my relationship with confidence and enthusiasm. This shift didn’t just change how I viewed my sexual orientation. It changed how I viewed myself - both body and soul. For maybe the first time I felt completely comfortable and at home in my own skin. It also revolutionized my understanding of the biopsychosocial and spiritual bases for the transdiagnostic manifestations of disease and psychological disorders.

I don’t pretend to have all of the answers; I don’t. I hope that I never feel as though I’ve arrived at all of the answers, because I think that’s where learning and growth cease. Experiencing such a profound revolution in how I view myself, the world, and the universe has taught me to not hook in too deeply; to hold ideas loosely, knowing that what I believe now might serve me today and not tomorrow. But I have absolutely experienced alignment; peace with food, and peace within my own body. I feel like I have come to recognize my authentic self. My higher self. I have become more real. This is not to say that I always embody my authentic self. Old programs still show up. But I’m increasingly able to recognize the distinction, and release old stories and emotions when they arise to the surface to be healed. And though it’s taken me some time, and it has at times been incredibly painful, I am grateful for the transformative and alchemical power of awareness and love. I am excited to share with you what has been powerful medicine for me, and trust that you will resonate with what will be powerful medicine for you as well.

In support of that purpose, I have created Alchemized Body to share what I have learned, both personally and professionally, about promoting holistic health and wellbeing. This includes a variety of approaches and practices, such as mindfulness practice, breath work, deliberate stress exposure, shadow work, and psychedelic experiences, which can all be powerful catalysts for change. I have worked as a licensed clinical therapist for over a decade, specializing in the treatment of disordered eating, addiction, stress, and trauma. Over the past several years I have also been teaching and researching the neurobiological and psychophysiological mechanisms that underlie physical disease, psychological disorder, and disordered eating behaviors at the University of Utah, and as a professor at the University of Tennessee. I am very interested in the clinical effectiveness of various methods of inducing altered states of consciousness, and am incredibly excited about the growing renaissance of psychedelic research. I have completed MAPS MDMA-Assisted Therapy training and am certified in Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies and Research through the California Institute of Integral Studies. I am passionate about healing and wholeness, and would love to support you on your journey towards your authentic self. In addition to the various courses and free meditations that I provide on this site, I also offer individual health coaching sessions that can be tailored to your desired focus, including the integration of psychedelic sessions. For session rates and to be added to my one-on-one waitlist click below.

Alchemization is a process of uncovering, accepting, and reuniting all of our parts, which we can only do when we are willing to feel challenging emotions and sensations. This process of learning how to become open, real, and radical in expressing our authenticity can take us some time, because so often our early lives are filled with experiences that are in contrast to authenticity. We are born into families, communities, and religions that may shape us in ways that are not in alignment with who we truly are.  Stories, expectations, and patterns can become so deeply programmed that we can even lose conscious awareness of the parts of ourselves that are genuine and those that are not. The personality and identity we grow to embody is so often not a reflection of our true selves but, rather, a product of the loss of our true selves. Naturally, we then experience discomfort in our bodies, which are lovingly seeking to show us that we’re not in alignment with our authentic selves.

I, like each of you, have been on a journey towards realness, holistic health, and freedom for quite some time, both personally and professionally. Throughout my life I have consistently been drawn to finding freedom, holistic health, and psychological and spiritual wellbeing for myself and for others through a broad variety of professions that have shifted and evolved as I have evolved and gained insights into the value and impact of my operating frameworks. I have served in the military for over 20 years in various capacities, but most recently as a civil affairs officer. I joined the military largely due to my idealistic belief that US forces were invariably working to fight injustices and aid marginalized populations in achieving a greater degree of freedom, autonomy, and wellbeing. And while I have had various experiences throughout my military service that I feel were aligned with those aims, I have learned that neither interpersonal nor international peace can be attained without internal peace. Peace with, and within, yourself.